I am reaching for a part of myself that seems forever to be outside of my grasp.
It seems achingly familiar, yet curiously foreign all at once.
I am perplexed and drained from my fruitless efforts.
I don’t honestly know what I am reaching for. I simply awoke one day with a dull curiosity about myself and have been mildly vexed ever since.
I do, however, make seemingly aimless strides to my unknown future. But, any celebration of sorts is immediately rained out by a cloud of “what now?” and confusion. Feelings of “blah” thunder in the distance of my mind.
What is the space between hopeful and hopeless? Neither suite me at the moment.
It’s an interesting inconvenience, it is. To be somewhat discontent, and yet have no clue as to what would bring contentment.
What am I to do? Before you suggest diddling away hours playing games on my phone, I have already spent several days doing this and though I’ve seen no tangible results I will continue my endeavor under the guise of being thorough.
Aha. “I will continue”. I suppose not having a destination doesn’t mean you stop the journey. I’m not big on going blindly, but I gather faith isn’t necessary if I can always “see” my way myself.
Well, now that that’s settled, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve a pair of big girl panties I think I can fit now. 😤